Thu 21 May, 2009
Another seemingly senseless but oh so full of truth chat between me and Amy. By the way - I did end up going to yoga that day.
7:47 AM
Me: *rolls up the window and looks out*
Chat window is open for business!
7:50 AM
Amy: Hey! Mornin’!
Me: Morning. Did you have fun last night? Sleep well?
7:51 AM
Amy: Yeah. And yes, much better than the previous night!
Me: Cool. I brought yoga clothes in case I actually go through with this….
7:52 AM
Amy: You should at least try one and see. It sounds like something that might be beneficial.
7:54 AM
Me: Yeah. It’s just that I get kinda’ shy when it comes to stuff like that — and lazy.
7:56 AM
Amy: I know. I do too.
7 minutes
8:04 AM
Me: Someone on playa.info has posted about two people who threw their little Chihuahua out of a moving car and laughed and laughed.
8:07 AM
Me: Gasp! Joker (a dog at the Animal Humane Society that I coveted) is gone!
8 minutes
8:16 AM
Amy: Good for Joker! Terrible about the Chihuahua. Was that in Mexico?
8:17 AM
Me: No - outside of Boston.
8:18 AM
Amy: Well, you know Karma is a bitch.
8:22 AM
Me: Is it? Sometimes I wonder why good things always seem to happen to bad people.
8:25 AM
Amy: I think eventually they get theirs. Unless the devil is real.
22 minutes
8:47 AM
Me: If the devil is real, then so is God, right - and that puts us right back to where we started, where good things are supposed to happen to good people….
8:50 AM
Me: Speaking of fucking god and shit – (unnamed) is on that very thread causing trouble. What a fucking asshole. Why don’t they ban him? Why?
8:52 AM
Amy: Because he’s trying to get them to ban him so he can cause an even bigger ruckus. What needs to happen is people need to NOT take the bait and ignore him. Eventually trolls go away.
8:53 AM
Me: I hate him. I just hate him. And I’ve been trying to generate good feelings in my life by just letting things go and not hating - it’s worse for me than it is for the recipient.
Om…….
Amy: Exactly. He’s controlling you by you letting him.
8:54 AM
Me: Think about ME being HAPPY, not about HIM being an ASSHOLE.
Amy: Exactly!!
Here’s what the universe said to me today:
Let’s see… It’s impossible to fail. Everything works out in your favor. The elements conspire on your behalf. There are always reasons to be happy. Millions of lives are touched by yours. Thousands of people think of you fondly. Hundreds call you their friend. You can have anything you dream of. Things just keep getting better. And you live forever.
Wildly unbelievable for a Hollywood script, but Amy, this is your life.
Stranger than fiction,
The Universe
Me: I never did get those.
8:55 AM
Amy: I love them. They can be kinda’ cheesy at times, but usually make me smile.
8:58 AM
Me: Mmmm. Cheese. 
Amy: Oh that reminds me…this month’s MN Monthly has a big article on donuts!
8:59 AM
Me: There is supposedly a place in the Lake Nokomis area that has the very best donuts. I have no idea what it’s called, though….
Amy: I’ll look at the mag some more. Check this out. http://illusioncontest.neuralcorrelate.com/2009/the-break-of-the-curveball/
Me: Mel-O-Glaze or something like that.
9:00 AM
Amy: Yep, she’s got them in her top 5.
Me: That thing is weird. Bugs me. Makes me feel like I don’t have control over what I see.
9:01 AM
Amy: We don’t, not really.
Well that donut shop has a shitty website. They’ve won awards for the donuts yet don’t even feature them on the page. And it looks like it was made with 1-2-3Retard. But if I’m in the area…I may still try them!
9:03 AM
Me: I was on the bus today and I thought of the name of a breakfast place I had been trying to come up with.
9:06 AM
Amy: I’ve heard of that. Have you been there? The breakfast burrito sounds good.
9:08 AM
Me: I used to go there a lot. I haven’t been there in years though. Cute atmosphere.
Amy: Looks like it.
5 minutes
9:13 AM
Me: I’m gonna’ try a pork chop!
9:14 AM
Amy: You know I was thinking…maybe you’d prefer pork tenderloin. No bones and it tastes more like chicken. I have a really good recipe for it that I got at a cooking class.
9:15 AM
Me: My brother mentioned that too - but I’m kind of weirded out by the idea of pork that tastes like chicken. I think I want to try pork that tastes like pork.
Ugh. I just don’t want to try beef.
Amy: Well, it doesn’t actually TASTE like chicken but it has more of the same texture and consistency.
We’ll get you to try beef eventually.
Me: Ugh, no way, man. No way. Beef is soooooo gross.
Amy: You can’t possibly know that. You’ve never had it.
Me: It’s so gross looking!
9:17 AM
Amy: Why?
9:18 AM
Me: I don’t know. It’s so….brown.
That recipe you sent me uses the word “smear!”
9:19 AM
Amy: It does? What do you smear? It’s a dry rub. It’s so yummy. It’s kinda’ sweet and super flavorful.
Me: Olive oil.
Amy: You can use it on a chop too if you like. The only thing I worry about with chops with you is that sometimes they’re weirdly colored. It might put you off them.
Oh yeah, I guess you put olive oil on it so the rub will stick better.
9:21 AM
Me: But I mean I don’t find bacon gross, and that’s super duper like flesh, you know? But I freaking love it. Grrrr. I want to chew it off with my teeth and eat.
I think I was meant to eat pig.
Poor pigs.
9:22 AM
Amy: Babe….
You just contradicted yourself with the whole flesh, brown, beef is gross thing you know.
Me: Well, I never said I was going to make sense. Bacon/pork looks like meat is supposed to look like. Beef looks fucked up.
Amy: YOU’RE fucked up!
Me: Hee hee!
Amy: I gotta run. Meeting.
Me: OK.